Four Years

Image Source: Zilzar Life

Image Source: Zilzar Life

It’s been exactly four years since I lost one the most important part of my family – my father. It was a void that can never be filled. Normally, sons are expected to fill the shoes of their father. These days, daughters do that as well. But yes, it is easier said than done.

Today, I look back at those times when he was the sole bread earner in our family and I realize how hard it would have been. We often credit mothers for taking care of the family, sacrificing for kids, 24X7 working with no leaves, managing relationships across and so many things. No taking away on that. But seldom is there anything written or said about fathers – how their lives change after marriage and kids, what sacrifices they make and what pains they go through to make sure that the money box is heavy enough to last for a month. I am quite sure that as I write this, you would be able to rewind your lives and relate to my point.

Coming to easier said than done – the level of organization, sense of responsibility, meticulous financial planning and readiness to go above and beyond for family (not just the three of us) were some of the qualities I have always tried hard to inherit from him. It’s tough for sure. If I am able to do even half of that I would be very well off, given that technology is there to help for the other half. Yes, there are couple of things which I learnt “not to do” based on his experiences. To some extent, I am more practical than idealistic in terms of thinking because of which the “not to do” list would be slightly longer.

I do miss him for discussions that a late 20s son would want to have with his father about life, work, future, experiences, priorities etc. While that can’t happen now, I hope I would be able to recollect as much as possible about him when thinking about all these things.

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