And we fought (war of words) again!! And after every fight, we learn something new about each other. And this, in spite of numerous occasions when we complete each other’s statements, get a same thought at the very same second and quickly sense something is wrong with the other person. It’s more than 3 years but we still keep discovering something new about each other all the time.

And in this process, what I realized is that what you do after the fight is also very crucial. What are your thoughts in that cooling off period (if you take one)? How do you collect yourself? How do you retrospect and introspect? And above all, what is your priority in a relationship? All of these things determine whether you’ll truly come out of it stronger or hold a grudge against the other person to the eternity. If you hold it, you’ll use it in the next argument.

In India, and perhaps around the world, people see no fight as a sign of happy marriage (pretty much like no divorce as a successful marriage). But is it possible that no fight also means one person is submissive? Which means one person is not being treated or doesn’t consider himself or herself equal? Two people, doesn’t matter the relationship between them, will diverge at some point in time in their thoughts. And strong personalities will be more assertive and convinced about their school of thought unless challenged with the same force.

The conflict per se is not bad. When things are challenged, they get tested for their relevance to time and context. But is the conflict overpowering the mutual respect and ability to see the truth? Because then that’s a problem.


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